103) What My Recent Identity Crisis Taught Me About Being a Digital Nomad

Recently, I’ve been having an identity crisis around my business, and you may have seen me talk about it on my social media @christabellatravels. Today, I wanted to make this episode for anyone who is currently going through an identity crisis and to let you in on what’s been going on in my world.

If you have a business — maybe you’re a freelancer, a content creator, or one of my clients who has gone through the Digital Nomad Life Academy — I think my story today will resonate with you. And maybe, you’ll even learn something that helps you ride the wave if you ever find yourself in the midst of your own identity crisis.

For years, my brand was all about digital nomad life, remote work, and building a business so you can travel the world. And while travel will always be my first love, I’ve realized my truth now is about freedom, grounded living, and creating a lifestyle that fits you — whether you travel or not. 

Here’s what we’ll get into:

• The real difference between Instagram vs. podcast content (and why I feel more authentic here)
• How my business evolved from “travel nonstop” to “design a life you actually want”
• Masculine vs. feminine energy in entrepreneurship — and how shifting mine changed everything
• The beauty of pivoting your business without “starting over”
• Why your identity shifts are not a crisis… but an invitation

Whether you’re a freelancer, content creator, or future entrepreneur, this conversation will help you rethink how you’re showing up in your brand — and give you permission to change course without guilt.

Connect with Me:

• DM me on Instagram @christabellatravels with the codeword: apply or identity crisis podcast 

Check Out Ep 86: Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energy in Your Digital Nomad Business

key points: digital nomad, remote work, entrepreneurship, location independent business, lifestyle design, freedom lifestyle, online business coach

Chapters

• 0:00 Identity Crisis Introduction
• 8:47 How Social Media Changed My Life
• 17:49 From Digital Nomad to Grounded Entrepreneur
• 27:39 Understanding Masculine and Feminine Energy
• 39:11 The Silver Lining of Identity Shifts
• 47:34 Content Creation Across Different Platforms
• 55:30 Finding Your Own Path Forward

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey there and welcome to the Digital Nomad Life podcast. I'm your host. Krista, also known as Krista Bella, travels on social media and I always say my handle at the beginning of every episode, because I really want to encourage you to reach out, send me a message, say hi, let me know if you heard this podcast, if you are inspired by it or if you have some questions as to how the content of these episodes could be applied to your life. Ultimately, I'm here to help people create location-independent lives, lives where they are freedom-focused and they're able to live however they want to live.

Speaker 1: 0:35

Now, per the topic of this episode, I've been having a little bit of I guess you could call it an identity crisis around my business, and I wanted to make this episode because, first of all, I just think it's something interesting for people. I posted about it on my social media recently and I got a lot, a lot, a lot of people messaging me about it, either sharing that they, as creators, have experienced something similar, or they, as people who consume and follow along my content, have been touched by it and are here to support me and ride the wave with me as I get clearer and clearer on what my quote Instagram or like social media slash, public internet identity ends up becoming. Now, I wanted to make this episode because, yeah, like I said it, I think is really interesting to people, but for a few more reasons. I think that something I really love about this podcast is it's an opportunity for me to be fully expressed, where I don't necessarily feel that way on Instagram, and I kind of want to. I want to talk about the difference between the two platforms and why I feel more fully expressed on my podcast versus my Instagram. So if you've been listening to my podcast I'm not having an identity crisis here, by the way Like, if you have been listening, I am just showing up. I've been showing up completely as myself the entire time, and on Instagram, it's not that I haven't been showing up as myself, but it actually, if I'm honest, I just haven't really been showing up very much on there in general, like kind of over the past six months, but yeah, maybe for the past year or you could even say it was a couple of years ago that I slowly, slowly, slowly stopped being as active on Instagram. So I want to talk about why that happened, now that I feel like I've finally announced that I'm having a quote identity crisis on Instagram.

Speaker 1: 2:48

I've learned and realized quite a bit that I want to share with you, just so that you understand. But I also think you know I always like to make whatever I learn about myself and in my experience, to be a teaching opportunity. So, if you are someone that has a business maybe you're a freelancer, or maybe you're one of my clients who's gone through the Digital Nomad Life Academy, or if you're someone who's a content creator, I think that my story will resonate with you, at least in some capacity, and maybe you can even learn something so that you can ride the wave when you ultimately perhaps maybe have a quote identity crisis yourself. Not that I wish for you to have an identity crisis, but you know what? In the end, it's actually not that bad, and something that I've been really embracing over the past couple of weeks, since I did announce this publicly, is that actually, maybe my identity crisis is a gift. I do think that a superpower that I have is my optimism, and I have the ability to really see the silver lining in almost every situation. So, yeah, so I've kind of taken the situation that was really bothering me and I've turned it into a lesson. I've turned it into a beautiful part of my life, and I want to share my perspective with you there as well. Other things that you can look forward to in this episode is you're going to understand about content creation in general and the difference between creating content for different platforms, because, as I already teased to you, I was having this crisis on one platform but not on another platform, and I'll talk about why.

Speaker 1: 4:30

And finally, I will announce what the new identity is, and I think you're probably going to laugh because you're going to be like it's not even really that different, krista, like what have you been so upset about? But you know what I decided? I wanted to make this episode because I just need to say it out loud what I realized and here's the first big lesson what I realized is that saying it out loud literally takes all the power out of your problem, and I think there's been some shadow work experiences in here, too that I want to share with you as well. So lots of lessons learned, some wisdom gained, and all right, let's just get into it. Let me just tell you all about my identity crisis and the whole journey that I've been on with it. All right, let me put this whole story into context for anybody who hasn't been following along on social media, into context for anybody who hasn't been following along on social media. So I guess I'll talk about what my online presence looks like. And even if you know, I think it's kind of interesting to hear how creators talk about the way that they show up online. And if you're listening to this and you're like Krista, I actually saw you as a different person or a different thing. I would love, love, love, love, love to hear your feedback about that.

Speaker 1: 5:47

Okay, so I created my business in 2019 after I had been creating tons of digital nomad slash travel related content for a couple of years at that point. So I moved abroad in 2013. I spent a few years being really shy on the internet, like not really posting a lot about what I was doing. I'm pretty sure my account was private until 2016, actually, and then 2016, I made it not private, I made it public, and then I kind of started sharing a little bit more about my digital nomad lifestyle, but it wasn't until 2017, that, or maybe it was 2018. I don't know. I think yeah, 2017. I started being like huh, wait a minute, the more that I post on social media, the more good things are happening. So many things, oh my gosh. Literally this is what I experienced when I started showing up on social media as a personal brand, so literally just sharing about my life, sharing about my ideas, my thoughts, what I was experiencing, etc. So, first thing is and this is a funny one for anybody who is a digital nomad but my family and friends from back home started being able to have better conversations with me, or I, you know, the conversations were more fulfilling for me anyway.

Speaker 1: 7:12

Previously, like the years, let's say, 2013 to 2017, which, by the way, it's like five freaking years that I was living abroad. I was having all of these amazing adventures, like I was oh my, I don't even want to get into it, I just had an amazing time. I was having all of these amazing adventures. I don't even want to get into it, I just had an amazing time. I traveled to so many places. I was living abroad, in Thailand for a couple of those years. I went all over Central and South America, et cetera. I was meeting people, et cetera, and I just wasn't really posting about it.

Speaker 1: 7:42

So when I would go home, let's say, for Christmas or for I don't know, a holiday or something. I'd be talking to my cousins, my aunts and uncles and they'd be like so, krista, how's life? Like they knew that I had been going to all these places, they knew that I was living some kind of different sort of life, but they just didn't know what to ask me. But then I remember a very distinct switch. So once I started posting more on social media about what I was actually doing and what I was thinking and how I was feeling, I remember going home for a holiday and then my family was like Krista, oh my gosh, how are you? Wow, I just have to say I loved the story that you posted about your Jordan adventure, that time when you were on the donkeys riding down the mountain in the moonlight. That must have been so magical, how was it?

Speaker 1: 8:33

And they were able to ask me really specific, intentional questions, which was so beautiful for me because and I think for you too, if you are listening to this and you're someone who's living the nomad life or you travel a lot share about your life, because when you don't, what ends up happening is that people feel really disconnected from you. They feel like you are so far away and so foreign and so much mystery. And if you already had the feeling of being a black sheep already, now you're going to feel even more like a black sheep. Had the feeling of being a black sheep already, now you're going to feel even more like a black sheep. But once you start posting online, then people know about your life and they're able to have, they're able to just drop in right away because they feel like they know you and they understand you, and then what's beautiful about that is that you can then talk a bit about yourself and then you get to ask them how they are doing.

Speaker 1: 9:24

Because what I noticed beforehand like before people were able to ask me anything, they'd be like how's life? And that it's just too general of a question, so I wouldn't really know how to answer. And then I'd very quickly be like and how's your life? And then they'd be like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm still at the same job and da, da, da. And then I'd be like, oh, here's a specific question about your life, and then they would be able to answer and then we would just end up. The whole conversation would be about them and their life.

Speaker 1: 9:56

And it's not that I don't want to talk about other people in their life, but, like, what about my life? Like, my life matters too, and I want to feel seen. So that was the first thing that I noticed was really significant for me when I started posting on social media about my life as a traveler. It just really helped me feel so much more seen, so I really encourage you to do that. Second thing that it did was it started magnetizing all of these people that I had never met but were like totally the vibe to my world. So, because I started sharing on social media and my account was public, other people who were travelers, who had been in similar destinations, were finding my content and then they were saying hello and I've actually met so many awesome people that I'm still friends with to this day because I was active on social media.

Speaker 1: 10:50

And I bet, whoever you are, you may have I mean, maybe you haven't, but maybe there are people online that you are really, really drawn to and you would just love to be their friend. So maybe you sent them a message at some point or, if you didn't, you would want to. Maybe someone else is more brave than you are, because people do that to me, right, and I do that to other people. If I see someone online that's posting a lot and I really resonate with who they are, I send them a message and I say hi, and I love when people do that to me too, because I love having like-minded people in my world. It helps me feel really seen and if you're catching on, I guess for me, that's something that feels really important to me to feel seen. I think all humans want to feel seen, and when I say seen, this is really aligned with the topic of identity, because when we are seen for something that we are not, it inevitably will make us question the depth of the relationship that we are having with that person.

Speaker 1: 11:57

This is where real loneliness comes from. Actually, if you go all the way back to the beginning of my podcast I think it's episode number three I talk about loneliness as a digital nomad, and one of the philosophies that I've had all along here is that you can be lonely in a relationship. You can be lonely in a crowded room. You can be lonely in a community, because if you are not feeling seen by those people around you, that's how you feel alone but as long as you have a few people in your world that really understand you and that really see you for who you are and who you want to be. That is how you feel less alone, and I guess that's been extra important for me, because I have kind of felt alone for many parts of my life.

Speaker 1: 12:51

I always had this desire to live a different way. I always had this deep, deep passion for travel that other people didn't seem to have. I always had this perspective on why is everybody doing life in the same kind of way? I saw the matrix, I saw the rat race and it didn't seem like anybody else was bothered by it. So for a long time I felt fucking crazy, okay, and I felt like a black sheep, and it doesn't feel good to feel like a black sheep. So being seen is very important to me, and that was something about social media. The more that I showed up and the more authentically I showed up, the more I was inviting people who resonated with what I was sharing to see me and connect with me. So I was feeling really, really fulfilled on a deep personal level by my social media presence.

Speaker 1: 13:51

Now, if you're listening to this and you're like, okay, no, I actually think all influencers are full of crap Not all of them right, but a lot of them are, and I think that, whatever your, I just want to point out that, whatever your perspective is on social media, if you feel like it's full of crap, I want you to ask yourself do you actually show up really as who you authentically are on social media, because you're probably just projecting that. I want this episode also to serve as permission for you to just be your fucking self, you know like show up raw, show up messy, be confused, change your mind, say things that contradict themselves, Like it's okay. I think we put way too much pressure on social media, and I do it too. That's why I'm having that's why I've been having this quote identity crisis. So I just wanted to give you that background as to what my quote identity was and how it started and how I ultimately became really passionate about sharing my life publicly on social media.

Speaker 1: 15:01

So, basically, I started being really public about my life on social media in 2017, 2018, I started to grow an audience and 2019, I was like full send, doing like sharing about my day to day, offering a lot of value about my digital nomad life, having so many beautiful conversations with other people who wanted to be digital nomads, too, who also wanted to travel the world, who also had a passion for traveling, just like I did. So it was at the end of 2019 that I decided do you know what? There are clearly a lot of people out there who resonate with the way that I'm doing life. I think I can build a business around this, and I started coaching people individually. I realized I really liked it. I hired a business coach and, long story short, at the end of 2019 was when I decided to go all in on creating my digital nomad coaching business the foundations of the business that I now have today with the Digital Nomad Life Academy. So the point is, when I created my business, the Digital Nomad Life Academy, I was all about being a digital nomad. I had been a digital nomad for many years and all the people that were following me also were curious about the digital nomad life. They were curious about travel, they loved to travel and everything was working so so, so well. The content that I was putting out was resonating with so many people, with my followers, and it was just great. So, end of 2019, I decided that I'm going to go to Sri Lanka to build my business. A few months go by and now we're in early 2020.

Speaker 1: 16:50

And this is a story for another day, but basically my journey like where I was going on my digital nomad path with my new business I got rerouted to Bali, so I booked a one-way plane ticket to Bali on March I think 11th or maybe the 13th. I landed in Bali on the 15th and I genuinely thought that I would be in Bali for like a week, and then, after a week went by, I was like, okay, maybe I'll be here for a month. And then, after a month, the pandemic was really, you know, like pandemic-ing, so lockdowns everywhere. I committed to three months in-house with a bunch of my friends and then I was like, okay, I guess I'm going to be in Bali for a few months, which was pretty cool because I had never been anywhere for more than three months in like years. At that point, like four years, I hadn't spent more than two months in any country, let alone any one accommodation. So it was like a pretty big deal for me that I was starting to be a bit grounded in Bali.

Speaker 1: 17:55

And this is when my business exploded at the beginning of 2020, because I was teaching people how to become digital nomads. And in 2020, everybody wanted to work online. So all of my content again about being a digital nomad was and in 2020, everybody wanted to work online. So all of my content again about like being a digital nomad was just popping off and people were eating it up and I was still very much like, yeah, I know I'm going to be in Bali for a few months, but like I'll probably go somewhere else next year and I'll still be a digital nomad. I'll still be a digital nomad. I'll still be a digital nomad. So a year goes by and then I actually have not left Bali. Another year goes by and I haven't left Bali.

Speaker 1: 18:35

I didn't leave Bali because of a bunch of reasons. One, I was actually feeling quite burnt out from how fast I had been traveling before that point, like before I got there. And two, I was crushing it with my business and I was all in Like I was working a lot, a lot, a lot in 2021, 2022. Sorry, three years 2020, 2021. And then into 2022 was like my business was like peaking in 2022. So that was when I started to be like all right, you know what? I want to go visit my family. So I took a trip I swear I'm going to get to the point here. I took a trip back to the States. I went to Burning man for the first time. That was awesome, that was a cool bucket list thing.

Speaker 1: 19:20

And then I came back to Bali and it was actually in 2022 that I started dating my ex-boyfriend and, oh my gosh, okay, whoa. There's like so much that I want to say right now and I'm like doing everything that I can to be like just really telling the raw, honest truth about everything. So, just so you know you listening to this, like am I a little triggered right now? Possibly, but I'm making this episode because I want to be real and I want to be transparent and I know that me sharing the truth is going to help someone. Okay, so I started dating my ex at the time and, well, when he first met me, I actually had a really stable life, like I literally hadn't left Bali in two years at the beginning of 2022. And he had just moved there. So, yeah, basically, like we were very aligned with how we wanted our lifestyles to be, which we wanted our lifestyles to be like being in the Bali routine. You know where you like work from a cafe during the day, then you might take a break and go to the gym. Then you come back, do a little bit more work, take my dog for a walk at sunset and then go out for dinner and, you know, have a chill evening or even go out. So that was just like what our relationship was like and it was beautiful. It really really was.

Speaker 1: 20:56

However, I feel like things kind of started to take a turn when I started to maybe get some itchy feet and I wanted to travel a bit and he and I had a bit of a disconnect around what traveling meant. I wanted to go back and travel the way that I used to travel before the pandemic, and he was kind of new to this lifestyle and I think just like wasn't really about it, like wasn't about this work and travel type thing. He wanted to live in Bali and like be grounded in Bali, and then if he wanted to travel, he wanted to take a trip and be offline, right, and also like spend quality time together. So this like little difference ended up becoming a much bigger issue in our relationship and something that we were really not seeing eye to eye on. It is also worth noting that at this point I had just made a lot of money with my business, like had a 300k year in 2022. And I was, like you know, wanting to fly business class and, just you know, rewarding myself for all the hard work that I had done.

Speaker 1: 22:10

He was not necessarily in a position to be traveling like that, though, and now I think there's starting to be some like masculine, feminine energy dynamics or incompatibilities that are happening with our lifestyle, where I was kind of like I want to be in my feminine energy in this relationship, but I feel like I'm starting to be in the more masculine role because I'm, you know, running this killer business, so that all starts to happen and I start to feel like I want to be in my feminine energy because I want to be in this relationship, but not in this dynamic. So, so I think, in any relationship, like any serious relationship you kind of end up taking on the qualities of your partner for better or for worse, and I think that this started to happen for me without me even really realizing it. I think, like I don't want to say that the relationship was the cause of this identity crisis, but I'm just really being fully transparent here about how it contributed in such a big way. So, basically, you know, I'm constantly dealing with this like internal challenge of like I want to travel the world, but also like I really care about having a grounded relationship and like how do I do both? And oh, is the fact that I want to travel the world so much actually just making it making me really hard to date, because I didn't really have a relationship the whole time that I was traveling like internationally as a digital nomad? In hindsight, I don't think that it was because I was a traveler. I think it was actually because I had some like attachment issues that I needed to work out, which I've, which I've worked out now, but yeah, so anyway, I think at the time time I also was just a little bit insecure about like, oh is, um, you know, am I contributing to this relationship, not falling apart, but like make, like, am I making it really hard to have this relationship Because I just want to be traveling all the time? And also, are we having challenges in our relationship because I just want to be traveling all the time? And also, are we having challenges in our relationship because our masculine and feminine energy is off, like maybe I want to be more in my feminine.

Speaker 1: 24:35

So, basically, I'm telling you all this because I think around 2023, I made a decision that I wanted to be more grounded and more in my feminine energy. If you don't know what I mean by that, I actually have a whole episode called how to Balance your Masculine and Feminine Energy in your Digital Nomad Business. I forget what number it is, I don't want to get distracted and go look for it, but that is a super interesting episode if you are curious what I'm talking about here. But that is a super interesting episode if you are curious what I'm talking about here. But basically, I didn't want to feel like I was working so hard anymore. I wanted to be relaxed, I wanted to be playful, I wanted to be having fun. I wanted to just my energy away from like traveling and more towards optimization, away from build a business so you can travel the world, and more towards build a business so that you can have the lifestyle that you want, so that you can have the relationship that you want, so you can be in the primary energy that you want, so that you can have the relationship that you want, so you can be in the primary energy that you want. But the thing is. I didn't know that my energy was shifting in that direction until now, basically, but that is as I trace backwards the steps of how I got here today to this identity crisis. That's what was happening.

Speaker 1: 26:05

So, yeah, it was being in a serious relationship that had me start to really reflect on who am I and how do I want to be showing up, not just in my business, but in the world, and especially with my romantic partner. Now I will save you all of the details, but he and I ended up breaking up at the beginning of 2024. And it was a really hard breakup for both of us. I think we just were not able to move past some compatibility issues that we had been having. And, yeah, as you know, like any breakup, I was really analyzing how do I want to do life differently and, as a woman and also, I think, someone who's super into personal development, I'm really available to change and grow and to be different and like to do things differently. I actually am, would say, pretty humble to a fault on like, okay, what do I need to change about myself in order to be even better, right? So, yeah, after that breakup, I think I just was really like, okay, I want to be. I don't want to just say that I'm in my feminine energy. I want to be in my feminine energy and I don't just want to say that I want to have a grounded life. I want to be in my grounded life and my life did start to become more grounded and more feminine.

Speaker 1: 27:31

I guess I feel like I need to put into context this masculine and feminine energy thing because, yeah, it really has been a big contributing factor to this identity crisis. So masculine and feminine energy can be applied to anything in the world and also to an individual, every single individual. Whether you are a man or a woman or something in between, you have a combination of both masculine and feminine energy. You have different percentages of each one and it each one and it can change and it can fluctuate, like you could be a woman that has a lot of masculine energy and then eventually, you ultimately become someone who has a lot of feminine energy. I think I personally was in that situation and I'll explain what I mean by masculine energy.

Speaker 1: 28:22

So I think that myself and a lot of American women we are taught that our masculine energy is the energy that we quote need to be in in order to have a great life. So masculine energy being like systems, like basically doing the same kind of thing every single day, which works really well for a man, because men have a 24-hour cycle of their hormone fluctuations, like it peaks, I don't know, in the morning with the sun and then goes down, and then every single day they do the same thing, whereas women, we have a 28-day cycle of how our hormones fluctuate. Some weeks we don't want to do shit and other weeks we are on top of the world and crushing it. So at least in the United States which is really all I can speak about because that's all I know From a young age I think we are taught to work via the masculine way of productivity, which is go to work 9 am Monday through Friday, leave at 5 pm Monday through Friday. So do the same thing every single day, wake up at the same time every single day, be productive every single day. So that consistency, that routine, is really a masculine energy thing that we are taught we need to be in in order to have a good life. We are also taught that we need to be providers, which is very much a masculine energy thing. It's like a masculine trait to be a provider. So, from a young age, women are taught that we need to be going out there and working and getting that bread, which, like, I'm not saying that we shouldn't do that, but I'm just calling it out that it is more of a masculine energy thing.

Speaker 1: 30:13

Other things that are very masculine is like discipline, structure, management, etc. Whereas feminine energy things are creative, operating in flow, operating by intuition, being flexible. It's not that you can't work when you are in your feminine energy, but it's a different kind of work. It's more like artist, dancer, designer, therapy, like things like that. It's a bit more like empathetic, it's more person to person. It's kind of like using, again, intuition, feelings in order to do a good job at the thing that you do.

Speaker 1: 30:57

For all of those examples of really feminine professions that I just shared, you do also need to have masculine energy in order to make money with it, like you need to be showing up for work on time if someone else is paying you. So if you don't have any masculine energy, then your life is going to be floundering and you're not going to get shit done, and you're not going to be able to make any money. If you're too in your masculine, though, then you're not going to have much fun and you're going to be in really like hustle mode all the time, and when you're in hustle mode all the time, it's hard to get to the heart of your own life, it's hard to get to the heart of another person, it's hard to connect, it's hard to have an emotional connection. So this masculine and feminine energy concept, it's not just about business, it's not just about relationships, it's kind of just like life in general. So masculine is that structure and the feminine is like the flowy thing that is held by the masculine Hope. That makes sense. I explained it much more in detail in that other podcast episode and, again, if you're interested in this concept, I really recommend that you go listen to that.

Speaker 1: 32:09

So the point is that I think in corporate America, which I was in up until 2020, when I quit my job I was in my masculine energy and I didn't even know that I wanted to be in my feminine energy because I didn't know what it was. And then, once I was in this romantic relationship, where, and and you know, after living in Bali it's like there's no, there's no way that you can't hear about masculine and feminine energy. It's just like what people there talk about. I was like, oh, okay, I want to be more in my feminine. But that wasn't until like 2022. So those first two years 2020, 2021, when I had my business, I had a lot of my masculine energy that I was using in order for me to drive my business forward.

Speaker 1: 32:58

There was a time when I literally had 57 clients at one time. Okay, I was churning social media content. I was working like 12 hours a day. Granted, I was excited about what it was that I was doing, but I was doing the most right. I was like really working super hard and I was all in and that was great. And, again, I made a fuck ton of money at that time and it was awesome.

Speaker 1: 33:29

But then, yeah, being in this romantic relationship, I was like, okay, I want to start being in my feminine, I want to start being more creative, I want to start sleeping in if I want to cuddle one morning, and I want to just like feel unapologetic about doing that instead of just like jumping out of bed and opening my laptop. So I guess all of this is to say that my energy and the way that I wanted to relate to my business started changing from 2022, 2023, and then really magnified in 2024 when we broke up, and now it's mid 2025. And that's why I say, oh yeah, I feel like I've kind of been having this identity crisis for the past six months, maybe even more, because now that I have decided that I want to be more in my feminine energy, I simply cannot run my business in the way that I used to run it, and I'm actually so proud to say that over the past year and a half, I've been doing a lot of work in order to create my business in a way where I can spend 90% of my life in my feminine energy, where I can actually have unlimited clients but still have them all have a really powerful experience with me, just because of the way that I've set up the backend of the business, the way that I do the calendar and the scheduling and also the way that I'm doing the marketing content. So, yeah, I would say I have successfully created a business that enables me to be fully in my feminine energy and I just love that, although I have to be honest, having a lot of masculine energy is really epic for making money and being in your business, and I'm also just like practicing now, you know, being a bit more disciplined and structured around the way that I do things, because I also want to have a healthy dose of masculine energy in the way that I operate my business, because I have big dreams for myself, right, and I want to accomplish those dreams, and you need to have both energies in order to do that.

Speaker 1: 35:38

So if you rewind like I don't know five, 10 minutes ago, you heard me talk about how there were two things that I wanted to change. One was I wanted to be more in my feminine energy and two, I wanted to feel more grounded. You know, I'm in my late 30s now and I am still hopeful that I will be a mom someday. So I think what I'm currently doing in terms of, like, my romantic relationships is I'm calling in a partner who also doesn't want to be traveling the world like crazy, because I don't want that to be a part of my life. I am currently on a two-month trip right now, but you know, over the past year or so, since I've made these shifts internally, I did commit to a villa for five years, so I actually paid up front for it and like, yeah, really, really committed to this villa. I also have a dog in Bali and like I just love being grounded there. So I would love to, yeah, call in a partner who matches my energy there. He doesn't even necessarily have to be in Bali, but I mean, obviously, flexibility and openness.

Speaker 1: 36:54

Anyway, guys, it's not, this episode isn't really about me dating, but that is something that contributed to the identity crisis and like something that contributed to the identity crisis and like, fully transparently, you know, that is an element of my life that I'm also wanting to optimize. I'm a lifestyle optimizer. I want every aspect of my life to enable me to have my cake and eat it too. So it's not just about my business, it's not just about where I live. It's also about, yeah, who I end up in a relationship with.

Speaker 1: 37:29

So something that I started experiencing, as I was, like, you know, back in the dating market, if you will is that I was meeting guys that maybe I'd be interested in, but then I started to feel like, oh, the way that my social media is coming across is that it looks like I am a full-time traveler and I'm not, and I actually haven't been a full-time traveler since 2020, since early 2020, 2019. And I haven't had the internal desire to be traveling for, to be traveling that much for like years now, and I've actually had the internal desire to be very grounded for years now. But you know, when I, when I would meet men, like this was kind of their reflection, they were like, oh, you're traveling all the time and that doesn't feel good for me because now I am back to not feeling seen. I'm starting to feel like my social media is a mask and that it isn't actually authentically who I am. Now, if we go back way, way, way to the beginning of this episode where I was talking about the things that had me fall in love with social media, where I was magnetically drawing in people that really resonated with me, people that were totally the vibe, and it was inviting people that I did know to have conversations with me, that helped me feel really seen.

Speaker 1: 39:03

I guess you could say over the past year I've started to feel like I've had less and less and less of that and more and more and more about people inaccurately judging me. Now, when I say judging me, I don't mean that anybody is like harshly judging me. Maybe they are. If they are, I honestly I couldn't care less. If people quote harshly judge me. I don't give a fuck if anybody thinks that, but what I do care about is if someone, I guess, thinks that I am something that I am not, because I really value authenticity and I want to be seen for how I am, because I know that's how I'm going to optimize my life and my relationships.

Speaker 1: 39:45

But the thing is that when you have a business, your business has a brand, and I guess my social media has had, or my social media has been, a combination of my personal brand and my business. Like, when you go to Christabella Travels, you'll see a lot of personal stuff, but you'll also see a lot of things about my business and my business, the main messaging, like all the emails that I send out automatically, the newsletter, my free trainings, like the collaborations that I do with other creators. So much of it is about travel and I have years and years and years of content talking about build a business so you can travel, and I hope now you are caught up and understand why I've been having this bit of an identity crisis and why it's blocked me from showing up on Instagram. Now, I mentioned earlier in this episode that I'll tell you about the differences between the two platforms, like my podcast versus my Instagram and why I don't feel like I'm having an identity crisis on my podcast, but I do on Instagram. So, on my podcast, like the people that are listening, like you, whoever you are, by the way, if you are here, thank you so much. Thank you so, so, so much for listening to me.

Speaker 1: 41:13

Like, just ramble on, I'm having this other. I'm having another one of these moments where I just like came back into my body and I'm like, oh my God, I'm having another one of these moments where I just came back into my body and I'm like, oh my God, I'm literally sitting on the bedroom floor talking into my phone to myself. I have no idea who's listening to this. Wow, the little existential crisis that I have when I'm recording a podcast. Sometimes it's a trip man. The internet is so wild and this is so meta. Anyway, let me come back to my train of thought. So the podcast is different because, whoever you are listening to this, like, you're giving me your time and I'm able to fully explain myself. You're not making a quick judgment about me in five seconds or 15 seconds or a minute and a half, which is what I get when I am posting on Instagram.

Speaker 1: 42:06

So when I'm posting on Instagram, like I so deeply desire to be seen for who I really am for so many reasons, but I also desire to make money in my business I also desire to say the messaging that I know has worked and the messaging that has worked is build a business so you can travel the world. But you see what I mean. You're like, yeah, what do I mean about this identity crisis thing? Like I still love traveling. That's still so much a part of me and I think traveling will always be my first love. It'll always be something that I care a lot about. It'll always be a big part of my life, but it doesn't. I don't want it to be the only part of my life. I don't want it to be the only part of my identity Because also, like the kind of businesses that I want to help people create, like, yeah, it helps them travel, but also it could help them create so much freedom in so many ways.

Speaker 1: 43:09

And I also found that when I was creating content that was very much like build a business so you can travel, I was calling in a lot of clients who were just like, really satisfied with the idea of backpacking, which is fine to want to backpack nonstop for years on end. I did that and I had the fucking time of my life Like, oh my gosh, I would never take back those years for anything. But the truth is I'm just in a different chapter of my life right now and I want to be speaking to people that are matching the energy of where I'm at and also where I'm at in business. Like, I have made over a million dollars in my business. I know a lot about marketing, and I don't just know about messaging and branding, but I know about the, the back end aspects of marketing. Like, I know how to scale a business and and I've, at this point, the the career coaching calls that I've done I've done probably almost 500 of them. So just the way that I have advanced in my career and in my knowledge since I first created my business in 2019, 2020, like I'm just I'm in a new league now.

Speaker 1: 44:20

You know what I mean, and so it also doesn't feel right or satisfying to myself and the version of myself that I have grown into to be saying all the old messaging as well. So I guess all this, to say all this is to say now that I'm, like you know, 40 whatever minutes into this episode, is that, if you're listening to this, like if you're a podcast listener, listen close, okay, and take this in. I don't give a fuck if you want to travel the world, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck if you want to travel the world. I actually don't give a fuck what you want to do with your life. As long as you are doing something that you love, as long as you are living the way that you want to live, that's what I want to help you do. To me, living the way that you want to live includes making money in a way that feels good for you.

Speaker 1: 45:19

And when I say making money in a way that feels good for you, and when I say making money in a way that feels good for you, it's not just about the work that you do that you serve your clients with. You know, like coaching, like that's something that you can do, and maybe you love coaching, okay, but maybe you're a bit introverted, so in that case, using Instagram probably isn't the best marketing tool for you, but if you feel like you have to do it, because that's what coaches do to get clients, now suddenly you're not doing work that you actually like because you don't like marketing your business, when marketing is one of the biggest aspects of running your own business. You also need to learn how to market your business in a way that feels good for you. For me, I'm at 100 something episodes in my podcast now, because I like creating podcast content I actually like it so it's easy for me to keep going with it, even though I'm going through all these fluctuations with my brand and with my identity. And this actually brings up something really important that I wanted to mention in this episode, and it's that I'm so grateful that I do have my own online business, because you know what, like, identities do change over time and our interests change and you could move from being an introvert to an extrovert at some point. The thing is, we're always changing. I love celebrating the uniqueness of humans. I think that's like a big pillar of my business. I'm so grateful that I have my own business so that I can continue to change it as I continue to grow into a different kind of person.

Speaker 1: 46:57

When you have your own business, you are not on the corporate ladder anymore where, like you, get on the ladder when you're at one phase of life and then you have to keep going up and up, and up, and up and up and up and up and then suddenly, if you decide that you're different or your priorities are different, you have to literally fall off the ladder all the way back down to the bottom and then get on a different ladder and start over. That is just not how it is. When you have your own business Like if you have a business like mine, where there's a personal brand you just get to pivot your brand and you can add more products or rebrand or, you know, take something away or just change the way that you run it and suddenly, with not that much effort and without having to start all over over, you get to have your business continue to be aligned with who you are. And what I was saying at the beginning of this episode is like this is what I realized is the thing about my quote identity crisis. That is the silver lining. Like this is a positive aspect of it.

Speaker 1: 47:57

I'm always sharing this with my clients that building a business doesn't ever put you into a box, like not in the way that the corporate world does. When you have your own business, you get to change and do things your way. And just because you built a business in one identity, that doesn't mean you can't change it once you step into a new identity. So I also just want to point out to anybody that, like, if you are someone who's multi passionate and you're worried about creating a business that you will no longer like in a few years, that is so much less of a big deal than you starting a career in the corporate world that you're ultimately gonna not like. I actually feel like the thing on multi-passionate people.

Speaker 1: 48:41

This is why so many people who do have a lot of passions think that they're not good at anything because they keep changing their mind and then when they change their mind, they have to start over. And that's just not true when you're an entrepreneur. Like, when you're an entrepreneur, you're never starting over, you're just pivoting. Like you're literally never, ever starting over, because the first time that you build a business, you learn how to build a business. So now, the second time that you build a business, you're building that business from a place of knowing about business. You see what I mean. Like, just yeah, if you are, if you are worried that you are going to come on a career assessment call with me, for example, and then I give you an idea. And then you like it at first, but then later you don't like it. Please don't worry about that. The future of your business and your career is just a pivot away. It's not you starting from complete scratch like you would if you were in corporate.

Speaker 1: 49:40

So whoever you are listening to this, I want you to know that if you want to change your life, the way that I would help you is first we get on a call and we would do a career assessment for you. I will analyze your personality, your skillset, your interests, the things that you like, the things that you don't like, the things that you're curious about learning your major life stories, how you feel about different aspects related to work, what your hopes and dreams are, how much money you want to make in the short term and long term, where you want to live. I'm analyzing everything about you because I want you to have everything in your life that you want. So I analyze all these things about you and then I come up with a business idea for you that will help you satisfy both your short-term and long-term lifestyle, career and financial goals. And then not only that, I will also help you figure out how you're going to market that business in a way that is also aligned with your general energy and who you are as a person.

Speaker 1: 50:40

Then you will come inside my optimized program of the Digital Nomad Life Academy, which I created with so much love, so much of my knowledge, where I teach you how to build a business that's completely location independent and you also get to show up to a call with me three times a week, which, first of all, is way more than most coaches like me offer. And I offer it in this way because now I get to show up only three times per week for a call and my clients get unlimited coaching with me. That's like 12 coaching calls a month that you come to with just me. But also inside the DNLA, digital Know my Life Academy, you can come to networking events to meet other people that feel just the same way as you do. You can go to workshops and there's co-working sessions, and I also have two other coaches that have very similar credentials to me. So basically, there's like four live things every single week.

Speaker 1: 51:38

This is side note, like when I talk about how I want to run my business from my feminine energy now, like it's like all I have to do that's urgent on a week to week basis is show up to three and a half hours of calls, and that's amazing. That gives me so much free time and that's why I'm in Amsterdam right now living my best life. I'm about to go on this epic trip for two months. I'm going to all these places and, yeah, like I'm still able to run my business and have it basically work for me, and I get to provide so much value to my clients, not just what I teach them with all the coursework that's inside, but also connecting them to each other and giving them so many opportunities to hang out with me live online.

Speaker 1: 52:23

So yeah, for the record, like, if you're listening to this, this quote identity crisis has nothing to do with my actual business. Like I still am obsessed with my business. I still think it's the best freaking business ever. There's nothing else I would rather do. There's no other way that I would rather make money. Like I am, I would rather make money. I'm just in love. I'm obsessed with this thing that I created, the Digital Nomad Life Academy, and I'm obsessed with the lifestyle that I have. Everything is perfect. The only thing that wasn't perfect was just me feeling like I was being perceived as something that isn't my full truth on Instagram. So that is my super long-winded way of saying that the identity crisis that I was having, it's not really that big of a deal. It doesn't really mean that there's like all these huge changes coming up. They're not. I'm just going to be pivoting my Instagram content a little bit further away from traveling and more towards freedom. Further away from traveling and more towards freedom, authentic living and just living a beautiful life. So I hope that you got some value out of this episode. I hope that you don't think that I'm insane. I don't think that I don't think that you do. I feel like, if you're still here, if you think I'm insane, you probably dig it. But whatever, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 53:40

This side note this is something that's really cool about having a podcast, by the way versus Instagram content oh yeah, I promised you I wanted to give you a little bit of like, a I don't know like teaching lesson on content and the different content types and the platforms and what makes them so different. So, as you know, as you just heard me say that Instagram content, I worry about being perceived in an incorrect way. I worry about being judged in an incorrect way or being judged for being someone that I'm not. So when I go to make Instagram content, I feel like I need to be more thoughtful about it. And yeah, that I like need to get the messaging right. You know what I mean, because you have such a short time to capture somebody's attention, but you also wanna create content that resonates with people in a way that gets them to want to enter your world and eventually become a customer A lot of people. If you're listening to this and you're some kind of creator, you have a business and you leverage Instagram. I'm sure you understand what I mean by that. Like you're using Instagram as a platform to also sell your services and you want to get it right with really effective branding and messaging.

Speaker 1: 54:51

And then also the thing about Instagram is that you need to keep producing that content because it's fleeting content. Like you put up a piece of whatever on Instagram and maybe people see it that first 24 hours and then slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, over a few days or a week or a month, that content ends up dying and kind of goes into the content graveyard and then nobody ever sees it again Now with podcast content. First of all, I know that the only people that are ever going to hear my vulnerable shares on Instagram are people that are, like, really committed and are like wanting to hear what it is that I have to say, and I just trust that people that are here listening to my podcast are people that, like, feel like they like me, feel that they support me, feel that they are rooting me on you know. So, because I feel that the only people that would ever give the time of day to my podcast are people that actually like me. I don't worry about ever saying something too vulnerable, because I feel like there's trust established here on my end, like I trust you that if I say something vulnerable like that, you're not gonna come at me for it. You know, or maybe I just don't have a big enough account actually now that I say that, because definitely there are some creators that put out content on podcasts and they do get backlash for it. So that has yet to happen to me and I think, whoever you are like, you know you can be more vulnerable on your podcast because, again, the only people that will really listen to it are the people that actually care and also because I can fully explain myself on podcast content. I don't need to like, I don't need to summarize my identity crisis in 15 seconds for you. Like, you're able to really hear out the whole story and you're here for it. So I don't feel like you're going to unfairly judge me because I've been able to fully explain and express myself.

Speaker 1: 56:44

And the other cool thing about podcast content, and something that I'm so grateful for, is that my messaging of like build a business so you can travel the world does still work. Like, a lot of people do want to build a business so they can travel the world, and luckily I have 100 episodes on this podcast saying that exact thing. And people still discover my podcast every single day because they type in digital nomad or make money while traveling into Spotify and then I show up. So my old episodes are still being discovered, unlike my old Instagram content. So that's what makes podcast content evergreen. By the way, it's like a tree, like a Christmas tree, pine tree that just is always green. Like, podcast content is evergreen. It's always discoverable and it's always relevant, whereas Instagram content isn't. So you might be seeing me make a slight pivot on my Instagram content, talking more about freedom and career and marketing and business, rather than traveling, but this podcast content will still be exactly the same.

Speaker 1: 57:52

So, with that being said, I just want to again thank you so much for being here. You have no idea how much I appreciate your attention being here. You have no idea how much I appreciate your attention, how seen I feel by you, even though I know I don't know you, but I hope that I do get to talk to you someday. Like, seriously, if you are listening to this, it would make me so happy just to know that you're a real person. So if you slide into my DMs at ChristabellaTravels on Instagram, just send me a message and let me know that you heard the podcast and I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. Even if you just want to say hey, krista, just saying hi, I like your podcast. I will just be so appreciative of that.

Speaker 1: 58:32

And you can say you listen to the Identity Crisis podcast if you want me to know which episode that you came from, or if you're curious about how I can help you build a completely location independent business that's aligned with who you are as a person, your identity, your hopes and your dreams in the future, you can also send me the word apply at Christabella travels and I will send you a bunch of automated questions where I'll be asking you like oh, where are you from?

Speaker 1: 59:00

Like, what have you been doing for work up to this point? What have you tried to do to make money online that has or hasn't worked yet? I'm going to ask you some questions and then, when you answer those questions, when I eventually see your message, we can have a really deep, epic conversation, because you'll have told me a bit about yourself. Like we get to even out the playing field here right. Like I know, you know so much about me. You know freaking everything about me. You know my whole hopes, dreams and my soul and all of my internal struggles and everything. So just tell me a little bit about you so that we can have a real conversation, and I would love to support you, no matter what in you changing your life.

Speaker 1: 59:36

I really believe that everybody can have their cake and eat it too. I really believe everybody can optimize their life so that it fits exactly the way that they want to live, and I think that you should be one of those people. If you're here, I know that there's something in you that wants something more. So just be unapologetic about it. Go get it and ask someone who's done it already, aka me. So send Christabella Travels a DM with either the words identitycrisispodcast or apply and I will talk to you there. Thank you again. So much to infinity and beyond, and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.